Hey Guys!
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This is actually going really well here - my college room is uh-may-zing, my teachers for some unknown reason love me and keep giving me hugs, and food is a binge-free zone.
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9am Doctors - The woman I see is really lovely - she is a great doctor. I went in, she asked me how everything was, I was honest about everything. She weighed me - 53.1kg on a professional scale - 117 - NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT - and told me I was now apparently underweight. She upped my antidepressant dose to 40mg and put me in for a blood test on Friday morning.
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11am Keith - He asked if a med student could watch and OH my word that made things awkward to chat about. He told me I looked thinner - I smiled and thought - you are lying to me. He has also asked me to keep a food diary, so I do NOT want to binge this week because on paper, giving that to him, feels like a fail. The appointment that I have on the 21st at the Ed Clinic is a 90min assesment screening... apparently I get a diagnosis... ooooooh. Are we guessing Ednos? I am guessing Ednos.
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Saw Vasanti - guardian angel, she gave me a hug and chatted to me for 30 mins, then my other french teacher who is strict and doesnt usually talk to students stopped next to us in the corridor and started asking me in French if I was ok, feeling better, had a good holiday, and smiled and smiled and smiled. I think she had an ED. You know when you just get a feeling? I mean, she is a perfectionist, mega skinny still but has a family and seems happy... I dont know, maybe I am going crazy... I just think there might be something there. Anyhow then I spoke to Vasanti a bit more, and when she hugged me goodbye MY OTHER french teacher Sally came up the stairs, called my name and gave me a big hug too! So I feel supported!!! And when I left and started walking upto North End House (a mission away) I walked past my Croatian teacher Branka, she hugged me and stopped to chat, told me my hair was lovely, that I looked lovely. I blushed, thought it would be nice, but I don't know and hugged her again. That is a LOT of hugs for one morning.
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So far I have eaten a bag of baked crisps (if that is my weakness, so be it) at 150kcal and a wholemeal plain roll at 300? 200? I am calling it around 400kcal at the moment. First dinner tonight - will aim for 300-400 and keep the day under or at 800kcal.
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I am cold!!!!
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I am coming to read your blogs now! Love the fishes x
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YAAAAAAAAAAAY! i am so HAPPY you are having a good and supportive and awesome day!! you see? everyone around you loves you. it's funny because i was just thinking of asking you if you were on antidepressants, and recommending them if you weren't, so i'm glad the doc upped your dose, i think that will help you! and the food diary seems like a GOOD idea! putting it on paper makes it official and super-embarrassing if you binge, so you'll think about it ahead of time.
ReplyDeletemy little fishes are leaping out of their tanks for joy! they are wanting to write you fifteen letters as soon as their lives have calmed down a bit! they are making grandiose plans and having delusions of grandeur right now, so you will have to excuse them :D
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY YES YES YES YES YES! KEEP IT UP, LITTLE BUNNY!
I'm glad you received so much warmth from your teachers, its a lways a mood booster! And hopefully having to write in your food diary keeps you from binging, it would definitely be super embarassing, but I think you'll avoid the binges! Good luck to you!
ReplyDeletehugs are a wonderful way to combat the cold!
ReplyDeleteand good luck with everything, including the food diary. i find i'm a little better about binging when i know i'm going to be held accountable!
Oh how I wish my teachers were like that. I used to be like, as a student, but not so far as receive hugs. Lucky you!
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing quite good. I hope everything will be fine for your blood tests.
Keep strong.
Love,
Luella