Thursday, 1 October 2009

I AM SO SO STRESSED RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GOD, HOW DO I GET THE STRESS OUT?
PRESSURE BUILDING IN ME. UP AND UP AND UP AND UP.
IT IS TOO MUCH.
ARGHHHHHHHHHH.
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4 comments:

  1. ruby2 October 2009 at 01:53

    okay. deep breaths. in two three. out two three. in two three. out two three. imagine all your stress draining and pooling and collecting in your fingertips and then watch it slowly drain out like syrup.

    at least that's what i do when i start feeling really stressed.

    you're beautiful. you're strong. you're wonderful. any damage can be undone. just think of tomorrow as a clean slate and drink lots of water.

    ReplyDelete
  2. witches2 October 2009 at 02:07

    Alright. Here is a stress reduction method which I discovered yesterday night after eating two kilograms of food.

    It is very brilliant.

    Run v. v. fast through hallway, searching madly for iPod and dock. on way, slam as many doors as humanly possible. Put iPod into dock. Turn Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana on. V. v. v. LOUD!

    SO LOUD THAT YOU HAVE TO TALK IN CAPITALS TO HEAR YOURSELF OVER THE TOP.

    SO LOUD THAT YOU HAVE TO THINK IN CAPITALS IN ARIAL BOLD BOLD UNDERLINED AT SIZE 116 FONT.

    And then, once you have done that, punch/jump on/kick/sexually assault (just kidding) your pillow. Then, if you can, knit 10 rows of an extremely angry coloured scarf.

    Then, do you have Singstar? You should do it.

    But you know, the best stress reduction method I have ever come across is sleeping. After my angry rant where I did all of the above (aside from sexually assaulting my pillow), I slept like a baby for two hours. Woke up. Ate another kilogram of food.

    Went to bed at 4AM.

    Orright. So, now, please de-stress in a safe, un-cutty way. Scars are un-pretty.

    i love you, my fish and i are sending you scaly, cold, wet hugs. you shall have to imagine that they are warm. because they come with warm intentions.

    from, the magical flying fishes.

    OH MY GOD THEY'RE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW! How the HELL did they escape the tank? When they're done hugging you, please send them back via return email (isabella.perkins@hotmail.com)

    unless you'd rather not. but just so you know that somebody's fish are with you. even if you don't really know that person.

    ReplyDelete
  3. witches2 October 2009 at 02:10

    NB: when slamming doors, please ensure that you don't slam your fingers. That is not helpful in the stress reduction process. It is simply very painful and will leave you high and dry with a black/purple fingernail and even more anger/stress which was squeezed into your last available stress reserve in your fingernail.

    IF you do slam you fingers in the door... actually, it's just better not to slam your fingers in the door.

    Adieu

    ReplyDelete
  4. mais2 October 2009 at 03:25

    AAAAAHH why are we not in the same time zone and country so you could call me and scream into the phone and relieve some of that horrible stress?? why am i not a magic faerie who could whisk it all away? why not?

    i am pretty sure that if Isabella's comment didn't cheer you up, then there's no way i can. she is the bombiest sex-bomb on the planet.

    anyway. did you take a shower? sometimes that helps me. scream into pillows? go for a run even though i know you hate running? type things on a typewriter? that is very cathartic.

    i wish i wish i wish your daddy wasn't stuffing food into you! but it is not forever. he will be at work tomorrow, and then you'll be at uni in a week and away from vos parents.

    OH MY GOD I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF DE-STRESSING ALSO AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO GO BUY AN UZI TO SHOOT THIS GODDAMN HELICOPTER THAT IS CIRCLING MY NEIGHBORHOOD OUT OF THE AIR AND WATCH IT FALL IN A BURNING FIERY BLAZE WITH A FEELING OF COMPLETE SATISFACTION. i fucking hate helicopters.

    i am sorry i know, you are having more serious issues than my g-d-n helicopters. it is just really hard to THINK and come up with some good ideas for you when i am DISTRACTED. like, i know they have criminals to catch and all that, but SERIOUSLY? BAAAAAHHHHH.

    i am imagining an expansive hot steaming bubble bath in which we are both in (with some modest garments, of course!). and everything is quiet and soapy and there is no food anywhere and warm sunlight is streaming in through the window. and you are relaxing and breathing in and out and starting to want to break things a little bit less.

    we are made of light ALL THE TIME and it is merely a matter of peeling back the outer curtains and finding it again. you radiate, do you know? i can see it from here. i am illuminated by your light and i wish you could see it. i am striving for sunrises now and i want you to find your light. i know it's in there because i see it and you're just going to have to believe me on that one. maybe i will be able to explain it to you in French one day when i have the grammar because it's not coming across in english. what is the language that your soul would speak if you could teach your soul to speak? tell me and i will learn it and i will explain everything and we will sit on hillsides overlooking mountains with the wind in our hair and our souls will converse while we ourselves are silent.

    i want to say more and hold your hand and whisper the words to make it all right in your ear but this fast is sucking out the wordy portion of my brain. i am sorry. i am failing you because i am not eating. that is actually totally stupid. i object to that.

    I LOVE YOU MY GORGEOUS LITTLE BUNNY WHO SHOULD NOT PANIC BECAUSE SHE IS SURROUNDED BY SO MANY FISHES THAT SHE IS PRACTICALLY BEING LIFTED OFF THE GROUND. her parents cannot touch her. her stress cannot touch her. her panic cannot touch her. her thoughts of thinness cannot even touch her up here. she is holding fast to a red balloon and floating up and shedding her body and her thoughts as she goes. she evanesces. she is turning into light.

    ReplyDelete

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