Wednesday, 28 October 2009

the rant

I need to get a few things off my chest. Do not feel obliged to read this... it will be a chaotic mess and will not be clear without context...
...

SO WHAT If I am in a room that has a toilet? SO THE FUCK WHAT. No I will not move half way through term so you can look over, no I didn't ask for your advice, NO I am actually making an effort not to mention 'the food' all the time with you
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I know I know I KNOW I dont do enough. I DONT DO ENOUGH BECAUSE I AM SHATTERED. Because I have a ton of uni work that is SCREAMING at me to finish it and because I CANNOT motivate myself to get out of bed and work, let alone do extras.
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Can you NOT Tell me what to do. I AM missing my year abroad. I have the problem. I AM DEALING with it badly, yes, but NO, Being sick isn't just easy to stop doing. NO I DONT LIKE DOING IT. Yes I am taking amssive steps backwards CAN WE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE that I have been back 3 weeks ONLY, am freaking out about not haveing a year abroad, trying to go to meals, yelling at the VOICE IN MY HEAD to not make me be sick again, not after only muesli. Not after refreshers. Can we not acknowledge that THIS IS HARD and that THINGS TO CHAGNE LIKE IN FAIRYTALES.
.
My stomach wants foood it is so loud.
I am so tired
I haven't done my french oral prep
FRENCH ORAL IS ON FRIDAY
My throat hurts
I am disturbingly unmoved by anything
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GET THE BREAD AWAY FROM ME... what a TURN AROUND.
YES I AM DIZZY... IS THAT NOT MY ISSUE?
Ok so I have to stop dancing... did I tell you I needed to?
WHY ARE YOU WALKING SO FAST. ARE YOU TESTING ME?
SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM
at

2 comments:

  1. Maria28 October 2009 at 16:53

    You have no idea how amazing it is to be reading your blog again. My internet connection hasn't been working for two weeks. So what to do, how to blog? School computer? No! Friends? No. Dads? NO!!

    But yeah, it is goooooood to be back to say the least.

    Gonna read all of your posts now, just wanted to say hi and that I'm back!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. See28 October 2009 at 19:31

    ah, you sound angry, or just generally pissed off.
    if it's people/a person, I suppose I know what you mean, they can piss me off sometimes too, people, FUCK PEOPLE :#

    ReplyDelete

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