thanks for your support guys, may need some more :-(

TODAY = DISASTER
Not through my fault, barely at all (until it got so ridiculous that everything was destroyed). My dad. Fuss FUSS FUSS FUSS FUSS FOOD IN FACE SIT NEXT TO ME AND WATCH ME FOOD FOOD FOOD ALL THE TIME ARGUEMENTS AND OH for fucks sakes.
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MORE food than binges in France, through random snacks SHOVED IN FACE. Yet, this is the ONLY day I am at home when he is not at work. So today was the first and the last day for this event to occur. But it has majorally got me down.
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Especially because I met up with my old German teacher who used to have an anorexic daughter and well I am really close with my old teachers and they all worked it out ages ago and then I left, and then I put on weight and they thought it was finished... expect her... who understands more how these things work in cycles. And I talked and it was nice seeing her. But answering her questions has plunged me into a very depressive state. I am such a twat. It had been 6 years and I weigh the same as at the start, I have only grown an inch. SO I basically have wasted 6 years of my life, trying to lose weight, failing, binging, being miserable, cutting and NOT LOSING WEIGHT. and I am sick of it, yet when I try to change the same thing always happens. And it is really getting me down. If it is not me caving and eating, it is my dad sitting there and me shouting. I am just going to have to refuse, but I dont want to hurt them more, but I am also going to go loopy if I never change this. I am getting way moer depressed. The self harm is on the up and my thighs are covered. I DONT WANT THIS FAT ANYMORE. But the obstacles are cemeted to my path and blocking me in with it.
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Sorry. rant over.