Something happened today... I was painfully hungry... but this was after a large breakfast... and a large lunch. I do not know what happened. I got up, and I was dizzy - but I am not starving myself, and have eaten LOTS for the last week. So I went to breakfast... I didn't stop myself. I ate cereal, dried apricots, 2 bits of fruit and a slice of toast and a banana at the end. And at lunch I was so hungry, my stomach hurt and I was hungry. And I had soup, a massive roll, tuna, a scoop of pasta and beetroot. And 2 bits of fruit and a yogurt. My head by this point was struggling to cope with the calories comsumed... and unfortunatly by 4pm I was yet again so so so unbearably hungry. Not I WANT TO EAT and binge hungry, but despearte for the hunger to go away. So I ate a cereal bar. And at 6 I went to dinner. And I ate vegetable curry, 2 bits of fruit and another yogurt..
Erm... WHAT.
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Excuse me, said my brain. I am not comfortable eating this amount of food. I am not happy with you being so hungry. I am so so hungry. My stomach is angry for all the days of starving and emptiness... it knows no bounds and it is hungry. But brain switched. Brain wants skinny legs. Brain doing well in academic stuff, but needs skinny skinny, skinny-jean-pulling-off-wearing legs.
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My friends, you will recall, were angry at me. Told me I needed a plan. I gave them a plan. It was approved. I will manipulate. I shouldn't go behind their backs, but ultimatly, I need this right now.
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My 2 week targets...
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No more than 2 food free days a week
2 meat/fish meals per week
14 meals a week minimum
at restaurant - no fuss
Wear small jacket to meal
Wear trousers the week after (I have a FEAR of wearing trousers...)
No being sick
No watching thinspo vids.
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The manipulations...
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2 free food days a week without hassle
I can pretend I have been to breakfast when I havent to get rid of some of those 14 meals
No one watches my computer
If I pretend to go to breakfast, that gives me another food free day, because I had a meal that day for my friends...
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Mw-a-h-a-h-a-h-a-h-a
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I am NOT accepting this angry hunger. I need to be able to not eat again without it stabbing my stomach.
Oh my gosh. I know exactly what those days are like!
ReplyDeleteHope it all go's the way you planned!
=)
YES YES YES darling
ReplyDeletei am currently so stunned with the amount of food i have eaten today that i cannot even think about it - giant brain blockage which is the only thing keeping me sane
i am missing hunger but i have spent the last week ravenously, twitchily famishedly hungry
and my cousin just got into town so i cannot not eat around him because he already sees how (not) skinny i am
so i know i get it i am here too
i LOVE your manipulations. it will be like a fun game. BWAHAHAHA! i am going to have to have a little game avoiding my cousin myself since i am helping him look for apartments and will see him every second of the next four days. REMEMBER SSPO?
LAUNCHING full-scale SSPO attack! ready, set, GO GO GO GO SKINNY GO!
ok we are awesome and we will be little skinny glowing balls of light
and i am holding tight to your balloon so i don't go crazy.
I LOVE YOU LITTLE BUNNY
OMG revenge of the stomach day!! :O *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have to side with your friends on the no being sick part. It's nasty, does shitty things to you. Anything else though, I am mute.
Grrrr stupid hanger. I hope you have a good day tomorrow <3
. . . Now I want tuna >.<