So after yet another day of false hopes of no binging I have consumed another 2200kcals and yet again I am disgusted with myself. I hate feeling this out of control. I randomally found out about a Grazia catwalk magazine launch in Palais Royal this evening for free and went along - I got front row seats and free thinspo galore. And I was so jealous. And I was so upset. Because that could be me. I mean, I will never be tall or pretty enough to walk a catwalk, but I can be their skinny. And once again, It is only me stopping myself from getting there. So I am doing something which I know anyone reading will think is setting myself up for another fall but I know when something chances in myself and when I will stick to something and that occured this afternoon, feeling fat and bloated, avioding all glimpses of myself in passing windows. When I thought... If I hadn't binged for the past week I would have been 3 pounds lighter at least, instead of undoing any weightloss I did achieve. So I am fasting for 2 weeks. And unlike before where I wasn;t feeling it but wanted to, I really do NOT want to screw up. I text Anida and said would she mind if I just got a drink at the Cafe tomorrow and she said no problem... so I only have to worry about the omelette that Sophie promised and 2 evening meals that might crop up between now and the 13th of September. Saturday, 29 August 2009
Grazia launch show and THE FAST
So after yet another day of false hopes of no binging I have consumed another 2200kcals and yet again I am disgusted with myself. I hate feeling this out of control. I randomally found out about a Grazia catwalk magazine launch in Palais Royal this evening for free and went along - I got front row seats and free thinspo galore. And I was so jealous. And I was so upset. Because that could be me. I mean, I will never be tall or pretty enough to walk a catwalk, but I can be their skinny. And once again, It is only me stopping myself from getting there. So I am doing something which I know anyone reading will think is setting myself up for another fall but I know when something chances in myself and when I will stick to something and that occured this afternoon, feeling fat and bloated, avioding all glimpses of myself in passing windows. When I thought... If I hadn't binged for the past week I would have been 3 pounds lighter at least, instead of undoing any weightloss I did achieve. So I am fasting for 2 weeks. And unlike before where I wasn;t feeling it but wanted to, I really do NOT want to screw up. I text Anida and said would she mind if I just got a drink at the Cafe tomorrow and she said no problem... so I only have to worry about the omelette that Sophie promised and 2 evening meals that might crop up between now and the 13th of September. 
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Well, good for you! And what was the show like? Brilliant? You know, you're making me pasty, spending all this time in front of the computer instead of doing my assignments!
ReplyDelete;)
What're you going to do about the evening meals? Eat them (I guess that would be the normal reply...)
love, the fishes who practise cello during the night because during the day the have to mow lawns, spy on international diplomats and read blogs.