Oh my word I am so so so so so so so so SO TIRED.
We had to run to the Eurostar. I did a LOT of running to get her there on time. A LOT. Not just from the entrance of Gare du Nord... no... A FUCKING LOT OF RUNNING. I hate running. I was shattered. I was going to pass out. I ate. I didn't just eat a little. I ate a LOT. A Mcdonalds meal - which I got interviewed by Macdonalds French Radio whilst eating, just to remind me I had failed that bit more... and then a baguette... and then 2 LARGE squares of fudge... and then 125g of sponge cake.
.
Looking on the bright side... I am home tomorrow. Brand new fresh start, and my metabolism has been pumped from 3 days Non stop walking and now running and normal amounts of food for 2 days. So this week at home I am saying NO to ANY meals I get. It might upset my dad and mum, true. But I do not want to go insane either so I will lie and hide food and all and I am not eating a damn thing. I am so ready for this now. I am 54kg again. Yes. That was this mornings weight. So I have put back on 7lbs. GREAT. The goal is now ANYTHING under 8 stone for the 6th, and for the 21st of October (ED appointment) 7 stone max.
.
WE CAN DO IT.
MAY SEPTEMBER BRING US STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO FIGHT THE FEAR OF FOOD. WE CAN DO THIS.
WE WILL BE SKINNY.
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yay for the fresh start, they are always for the best :)
ReplyDelete& september will bring us all strength, i just know it!
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