Ok. So here it is. My hand reaches for the banana juice and drinks half a litre. Then I cry and I snap and on machine robot mode I pour the rest in the sink. Empty out the skimmed milk and chuck the last puree pot away. I ask Ally to take my three cartons of juice. If I eat or drink another calorie in a while I am going to be more of a wreck than I am now. .
.
You all know me. I suck. I fail because I set myself up to fall. But I gotta try because my brain wont allow for grey. Black or white. And we are going for zero to win
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NO NO NO!! eeeee!! i love you i love you, you are ok!
ReplyDeletei need to read all your posts properly and have a good response but i have to leave because i am SOO late already! so please bear with me! i will be back to comment later today (hopefully you are still awake and so on!). maybe you can write me 15 emails? i would love to read them and that might help? maybe you could tell me the beginning of your ED story? please? only if it will help.
you are NOT a failure. you are NOT a disaster. this breakdown is TEMPORARY. i will tell you why when i get back.
LOVE the fishes who are MAD that they cannot spend the time with you right now because they DON'T have more important things to do but they have to go do them anyway, grrrrrrrr.