I think if you click on the picture it will take you to a readable version on a tab or in a new window....
Basically... I failed you guys. BUT PANIC NOT I AM NOT LEAVING YOU BECAUSE... I almost fainted walking up stairs, I kid you not. I don't understand how some people can fast for days and days and be fine, and I fast for 1 and on the second I am a dizzy wreck? If you have the answer to this question - please be BRUTALLY HONEST with me... Because I really want to know.
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So I looked at my tredancies... and I think it is fairly obvious what happens... I fast for a day, 2 tops, and then binge. I basically for the moment need to make it ok to eat an entire french baguette. Because I am too weak. And in England this is NOT an issue at all. Branflakes is the issue there. But at uni they don't have skimmed milk, so as long as I stay off the chocolate I will be fine.
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The chart explains it all. In real life size it is just bigger than A4 and on card. The plan is to fill that in. It makes eating a whole baguette ok every 4 days when a 1000kcal day comes around. Anything except chocolate or icecream or flan etc (basically no junk bar baked CRISPS) is acceptable. So bread is in. Should I want to waste all my allowance basically like I did today on a stick of bread, then thats fine. And then I don't binge. This is not a good place to try and fast. This is my academic head fighting my skinny dreams here. I need to focus and get ahead and basically manage about a years work in 3 weeks... and I wander a LOT. So lets say work as much as I can. Big fat baguette days will be LONG hours in LIBRARY days. Fast days will be arty, vocabulary learning, general non-library reading and whatever I want days... and 500kcal days are in the middle. Best of both worlds. It is a compromise between my academic and my skinny dreams...
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I know it looks like I am chickening out... and I guess I am. But last year at uni was really hard work. Well, the work was achievable, but I couldnt concentrate and got so so sad and behind. So I really want to start on a good footing this time around. I hope you guys understand? Most of all, I didn't want to lie and say YEAH MAN, I'M GREAT - WATCH ME FAST. There is no point living a lie anymore.
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Love the happy with the compromise fishes that form a third of the musketeer group of fishes that stretch the world over - USA, UK, Australia... literally... our fishes travel all around the world. GO US!
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! it is really really really really really important to know how to listen to one's body when one's body is trying to tell it something, i.e., being too weak to stand up and that it would rather just keel over and be absent from the world for a while, thank you. some people are crazy about fasting. some people can go for weeks. MANY, MANY more of us CAN'T. and that's OK. really and truly. it's is REALLY IMPORTANT that you don't keel over suddenly and DIE because some of us around here LIKE YOU. a lot. a lot a lot. seriously! so be careful be careful.
ReplyDeletei like your new plan. i find a lot that when i eat very very little one day i eat A LOT the next day. 2 answers to this: 1. embrace the cycle, as you're planning on, and 2. pick a caloric quantity that is slightly higher than you feel good about (like 700 or 800) and try to stick to that EVERY DAY. that leaves room for half baguettes and enough protein and other things to keep you even. plus your metabolism will be a happy camper. sometimes the best way to lose weight is to eat MORE. absolutely retarded, but there it is. for instance, the last two days i have been eating 1000+ and have lost like a lb. and a half. wtf? who knows.
ALSO, i totally get the whole brain vs. skinny dreams. i get it i get it. i struggle with this ALL THE TIME. i think the key is perspective! you can always get skinny later, like next week after exams are done, or tomorrow after this test is done, and so on, but if you screw up in uni you're way more in trouble. this is the rest of your life we're talking about here. academics are SO important. but i like your plan of the easy stuff on the fast days and the harder stuff on the baguette days. that is a good compromise!!
love, the fishes who are happy you are not fasting and falling over anymore!
Oh my goodness, you're NOT A FAILURE! I do love that you have it so charted out - I love the organization. I might just have to adopt this idea too.
ReplyDeleteI too want to know how people do not pass out. We will hopefully learn.
Let's make these skinny dreams come true!
Aiiiiiiiieee! Brainiacle burstage! But, seriously you drew a table? Incredible.
ReplyDeleteWell, I got up this morning at 4:16AM (that's what time it is now) and I went back to bed. And felt sad about being so obsessive.. but instead of just GOING BACK TO SLEEP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, I embraced the eyebags and came and read your blog.
and saying you are a FAILURE is like saying you CAN'T. Andthere is no such word as can't (i don't know, my Mum drills it into me, I suppose).... In case that wasn't very clear: "YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE, SIX! AND THERE IS NO SUCH WORD AS CAN'T!"
Got that? Your new plan sounds extremely scientific and officially. Especially if it's drawn onto a piece of cardboard!
Love, the fishes (who have mummy costumes on. ie. toilet paper/glowing green eyes) and my eyebags.