Paris has been exaggerated cycles of fasting and binging. And it has to stop. And it stops now. Rational head had gone flying around somewhere, so yes, I know, I know, why will I be able to do this this time, right? Right? I know. I don't know. I know I need to.
.
Sometimes I honestly think this is somehow going to kill me. Either from a heart attack or sheer misery. I don't want that. I want to wake up and want to look at the scales. I do not know how to stop this happening again. I need a new start. BUT why does that have to be when I get home? Why can't I pretend that I am giving myself a new start as soon as I wake up in the morning. Bring back the declaration, and stick to it. I have to stick to it eventually. That is what happened a few years back. The cycle got too much, I got pissed, I snapped, I followed it for a while until Summer hit, and summer holidays destroyed me. Well no more summer holidays, so I am just going to do this. I need a new beginning. I need a fresh 'I haven't screwed up every 3 days' start.

So I am giving it to myself.

18:00, GMT+1