Q: Calorie limits at school...
Amanda sayyysssss...
I felt differently about everything then - I didn't want to eat. I would get up,
avoid breakfast, sneak leave half a yogurt in the pot and bin half a roll at
lunch and throw away my dinner. And I am so desperatly sad that now this feeling
is nolonger with me. So I managed with calorie limits because the game was
avoidance of calories, not how I can cheat my way around allowing to have food
which the game has become :-( Dont you find that you work in cycles?
Now... the evening that I was fearing... worse than I feared. Terrible. I fear that if I count the calories I will have a leg episode so I will just write down the contents to prove that it is alarming and hopefully make some of you feel somewhat better if you had a weak day... so this is after the previous post's intake...
- 2 more apples
- 2 bananas
- an entire wholemeal baguette
- a cheesy baguette (I dont even LIKE cheesy bread)
- a mini spice roll
- 4 fibre cereal bars
- a strawberry cheesecake scoop of hagen daz or however it is spelt
- a peach
- apple juice
- a lollipop
- a flapjack with raisins and seeds
- I fear I have forgotten something...
How did this all fit in my stomach? Do you realise, you stupid arse of a person, just how much money you have WASTED tonight?! Wasted for no reason. I can feel my neck and I can feel my legs rub and my arms touch and I HATE IT. I really HATE IT!!!!! And it is MY DUMB FAULT!!
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So basically get a GRIP or get out. And that is my proposal. I thought, what can I do to really convince myself to stick to a fast - because I have proved I can fast - I just need NOT TO GIVE UP TOO EASILY... and I thought, I cant do the usual threat of saying that you will have to live with being miserable and fat seeing as I seem not to care about either... one of my biggest joys is reading your blogs and getting support and supporting you hopefully and moaning and writing random stuff... so basically here is the deal:
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Either I fast for 2 weeks (only allowed WATER, DIET COKE, and GLUCOSE TABLETS which Clementine is around) or... and I am not joking... I have to give up blogger. And I don't want to do that. But if I have to make a threat which will make me think, then that is the threat.
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Thank you my little angels for my comments on my last post - you know who you are :-) Your blogs and your insight mean a lot to me, and I am not going to screw this up so I can read the two of your blogs!
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My lifestyle is changing. Now. I have to start living like a student again, instead of a holiday maker who thinks that one last icecream wont hurt (but then post-holiday denies any weight gain calling it 'holiday weight' as if it were strapped loosely to their buttocks ready to drop off when they next walk a flight of stairs). I need to study more, spend less (sides, I have hardly anything left to spend), stay in more and GET A GRIP OF THE FOOD. Because I swear if I don't do this this time I will want to shoot myself. And I don't own a gun. Nor can I buy one. Other than one that shoots water... and that is hardly going to work now, is it.
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TOMORROW:
Get up (or not, whatever)
Dilly-dally around until 11.30 and then go to the Library to research the book that took you 5 times longer to read than it should of because you were too busy having frolicking escapages with seeded carb sticks.
Leave only when you have finished.
Come back. Watch shit on youtube... well... not literally. That would be a DISGUSTING form of toilet humor.
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Sorry that this has been a long and moany post... LOVING YOU ALL and sending hugs with my and my fishes who are currently wearing scarves to cover their pot-bellied-jelly-wobbiling-rosy-red tummies.
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p.s I find it somewhat spoooky how my first and last post of August both have at least - / enfin - a day without food... this proves how I am stuck on the rame running track and I WANT TO STOP RUNNING NOW... If Mr. you could just show me how to get to that long jump track over there so I can be somewhere new and exciting instead of seeing the came curve all the time? NO I DO INSIST, SIR. Take me to the long jump track or I shall place a jar of weewee on your balding head.
I usually post/comment at 6AM. Don't ask me why. I am a stupid fatso with fishes instead of brains. And I must leave for the bus stop in two minutes. So, now I must go. Au revoir. Let us know how your day... wait. I'm confused about this too now. Let me know how your next day (whenever that is) goes.
ReplyDeleteLOVE, the scholarly fishes
P.S I win the food eating competition. I have found the space in my stomach to have had more than that every day since Sunday. It is now Wednesday morning. at 7:43. Shit. I should have gone at 7:41. BYE!
a) i do EVERYTHING in cycles. i get it.
ReplyDeleteb) the only way to break a cycle is to BREAK it.
c) if you have to give up blogger i will cry ten thousand tears. yes, i will. don't doubt me. like paul newman in cool hand luke who showed them all he could eat 50 hard boiled eggs, i too will show you (still working out the details as to HOW) i can cry ten thousand tears if you go. so, DON'T GO.
d) the only way to not leave blogger is to FAST. apparently.
e) therefore, you MUST FAST. i do not know your current state of health and whether this is wise or not (2 weeks is kind of a long time. what about a shorter, more obtainable goal? like 5 days?) but it is IMPERATIVE that you do not leave blogger.
f) it is also IMPERATIVE that you break your current cycle. fasting seems like a good idea.
g) have you ever done a liquid fast? i find this much more enjoyable than straight up fasts because your body is getting "enough" calories to maintain some semblance of sanity and you won't risk passing out, etc. but you still get the lovely empty feeling and the pounds still come off. i LOVE to drink V8 and milk for protein and all sorts of yummy caloric beverages that i avoid like the plague most other times.
h) shit i forgot where this logic was taking me because the comment box is so small. hold on while i scroll up.
i) aha. got it. THEREFORE, i am holding you accountable to whatever fasting method and length of time you choose.
j) because if you break said fast i will find out where you live and you will shortly be receiving a package in the mail of a sealed plastic container containing my ten thousand tears, as promised.
'nuff said! i love you and don't go. xoxo