I want to be herIt is 9am... I am laughing giddily at the thought of my Ten Day Challenge... (Challange? My spellchecker is in French right now...) Défi in French. I can spell that version.
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My legs have got visibley fatter. This destroys me. My denim skirt was WAY tighter... but it is ok... because in 10 days time I will be 7 stone something, right!! I won't lie, I am scared that the cousin may make me eat in the two days, I won't lie I will also try my hardest to avoid all food. THIS IS A FOOD FREE ZONE, MY MOUTH, DID YOU KNOW?!
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So basically we have come to the end of the 2 months in Paris... I have but until Wednesday, and all these days are now filled with cousin (I love her, but it is the end of free Paris)... what do I have to show for the last 2 months?
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A very upset bank account
Scars on my right leg
A little hysteria (I love that word)
An internal map of Paris
A tan on my face and feet (I wear stirrup tights and long tops like NO MATTER WHAT)
2 empty boxes of Antibiotics (that didn't work, by the way, unless it takes longer)
A mass hole in my right shoe
4 paintings, 4 doodles and 1 collage
A diary full of wanderings
A diary full of food obsessed binges
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Did I enjoy myself? You know, I don't know. I mean, there are times that I LOVED wandering. I love wandering, especially when Paris is light up at night. It transforms into a magical underworld. A black canvas with specks of gold and white. And I don't want to seem ungrateful, it is just, I don't remember the last time I REALLY enjoyed anything, you know? I bet some of you feel like that too - if not all of you. I have had the freedom for two months to do as I wish... not studied like I should have, not lost weight like I should have. To me that is a fail. And in 9 days time I will have travelled from Paris, to London, to Hertford, to Leicester and arrive in Durham... and I will be more of a nervous wreck than I am typing this. But I will be skinny. If that is the one thing I will control, I can control with a little LOTTA effort, then that will be the one thing I have to show from summer.
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The HONESTLY best thing about SUMMER = You Guys. Totally. When I am back in Durham I will be a busy bumblebee, flying aaround to lessons and doctors appointments and special Ed meetings and seeing my 'man nurse' (care co-ordinator) and my guardian angel - so I will have much more to write and mch less time to write - but I will try a daily post. NO I WILL DO A DAILY POST.
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You cannot know how much meeting you guys has met to me, even if I have not seen you face to face, apart from on posted photographs and such. I honestly love you all. So thank you.
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My fishes are worried. But excited about being skinny soon.
I know what you mean about really enjoying something, sometimes you just can't remember when you last really laughed and meant it.
ReplyDeletethat sounds so depressing!
and your lucky to have gone to paris, it sounds lovely, I know you will get skinny,
you can do it!
The best times I had in Japan were just getting lost and wandering around. Man did I disturb the locals sometimes!!
ReplyDelete<3 I would join you on the fast, but sadly I have work, and if I don't have at least some fuel for work I flip out and break things >.<
I love the photos you posted of the Hand Writing. I have such a great idea for a photomanip of them but such a lack of Photoshop skills :(
Love you, take care bunny!!
From NZ fish who have fried their brains on a griddle of assignments