Thursday, 17 September 2009

I think I am on the verge of a full scale breakdown over here. I cannot stop crying. This is so so so so so dumb.
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3 comments:

  1. mais17 September 2009 at 15:29

    NO N NO NO NO No no nONO nO NO! oh sweet six do not cry! do not have breakdown! mais non! or rather, cry and let it all out- sometime one needs a really good cry. cry until your shoulders hurt and you can't breathe anymore. cry, but do not despair! you WILL get thin soon, you WILL get in control of things, you WILL see a doctor about your infected cuts. just a weeny bit of patience, it will all happen. just cry and cry and when you haven't any tears left, do something nice for yourself and say it's from me, ok? i am sending you lots of mental presents and images of meadows and sunrises and dandelions blowing off into the wind. ok? are you receiving them? if you are suddenly feeling squeezed to death and are finding it hard to breathe then that's me too! i confess i am also sending telepathic hugs. some day we will be ice skating together or frolicking through meadows conjugating verbs! i promise promise promise you that!

    also maybe if you are worn out from crying, allow yourself to fall asleep? things always look better from the other side of sleep.

    do not worry! try to stick to the juice/fruit fast today and i think that will help you feel better. you LOVE juice fasts! remember how good you feel on them?

    i KNOW you have some hitherto untapped strength in there that you can pull out for moments like this! go find it! i will give you some moments to find it.








    ok? you have it now? no? it might be just a little tiny bit of strength and it might be in there very deep. here is some more time to search.









    ok? yes? yes! you see? there's always a little bit more strength in there even when you are at the brink of despair. if i had even $1000 i would fly to Paris RIGHT NOW. like, not even get dressed or put my contacts in. (you are the first person i think of in the morning and the first thing i do is check blogger) sadly, i am broke-ish and cannot just hop on a plane. Oh, how the fates have separated us by time and space! well, i am there in spirit. i am giving you little pats on the back (ok maybe not, that is dumb, but i am giving you hugs) and i am handing you fizzy fruity beverages. ok? are you making mixes of sparkling water and fruit juice and sipping it and sitting in the sunlight? i really really hope so.

    you are so very LOVED and CHERISHED and NEEDED that it is not even funny. despair is for those who have nobody. that is not you. chin up! and all that. find a fizzy beverage and sit by a window looking out at a park or take a walk through the ponts des arts and look at the trees and the bridges and the lights and the grass and have a little sigh or two and remember that you are in Paris and there is much beauty there.

    ok? i will be on blogger periodically for the next five hours or so so if you are still in despair i will be here. also no one has left me any comments on my last post so you can be the first :D

    loveAGE !

    LOVE from the fishes who are trying to jump their virtual tank and land in the ocean and swim over to you to give you wet cold fishy kisses even though i keep telling them that what we have here is a failure to connect via oceans! cali + pacific DOES NOT EQUAL Paris! cali + pacific + a few other oceans and a globe in between equals paris! fishes are saying well fine, we'll grow some legs and hike to new york and jump in and swim the atlantic. and i'm saying, now there's an idea. go to it, fishes! by the time you get there it will be next year and six will be visiting here! well, the fishes mean well even if their brains are not as super awesome and big as ours...

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  2. mais17 September 2009 at 15:57

    also: tell me everything that is wrong! please please! hold on i will make a new special email account--

    ok here it is: aniseismadeoflight@gmail.com.

    special secret email! i will check it fifteen thousand times a day so please tell me what's going on and why you are breaking down! if you want to, that is. you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to of course but i would love to know and maybe it will help you? i hope hope so!

    LOVE many little worried fishes

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  3. witches17 September 2009 at 21:28

    Sad Six,
    I wish I had been on last night. That way, I could have tried to make you feel better. But I WASN'T! DID YOU LET YOURSELF CRY UNINHIBITED? Because THAT is what I would have said. Let all of the bad, unhappy, hungry, feel-mad vibes out of your body, because they are like toxin. And also sleep? Did you sleep? Did you? Because sleep does nothing if not healing sadmadhungriness. You knew this, though. Now sleep. (unless you alread have)

    Once you have slept, these things will CONTINUE to happen...

    1. your painful, itchy, infected cuts will heal
    2. you will become skinny and beautiful, in the manner of a cocoon to a butterfly
    3. you're actually already beautiful
    4. just a bit sad
    5. you will become happy in manner of butterfly from cocoon
    6. i will fly to paris even if it means behaving illegally in manner of stowing away on a Qantas Jet

    Love, the fishes whose eyes are pushed up so hard against the glass that they have flattened out, and you can't see the fish behind them. But they're there. And they're trying to get out of the tank so that they can fly to france and you. But if the could fly to france, then they would obviously be able to escape the tank without it giving them too much trouble...

    loveyouu!

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