This morning I woke up and, I joke not, the fat is there. On my arms, on my legs and on my stomach. What else could I expect really. 3 day BINGE-A-THON. But it is over now Amanda, ok. Today is a fast day. Diet coke and water all the way. Go buy the antibiotics and some white acrylic paint and paint the day away. Paint paint paint. No thinking thinking. Stop the thoughts. Stop the tears, which by the way, after just waking up is very very strange. .
I went on a mass Itunes 'Thinspo - I feel sorry for myself' download session last night:
Placebo - Running up that hill
Fiona Apple - Paper bag
Paramore - Ignorance
Florence + Machine - Rabbit Heart
Lisa Loeb - She's falling apart
Superchick - Courage
David Guette - Sexy Bitch
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More tunes to listen to whilst painting and under my covers. No point trying to work in this state. I will cry and rip up something or stab the book and not get anywhere. Best to paint paint paint like a robot. Maybe I should find art therapy.
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Anymore good depressing/ motavating songs that you guys know? I LOVE SIA, Imogen Heap and Laura Marling, but ANY OTHERS would be LOVELY please!!
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I would quite like to enjoy existence at some point soon
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UPDATE: 12:07
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Erm. I love the NHS. I have just paid... 55 euros for 7 days antibiotics and a spray cream. AND to make it hilarious, to be spited and given one of the few types of antibiotics that needs to be eaten with a meal to be absorbed properly. Walking down Rue de Rivoli, on my way to buy cheap white acrylic paint, I laugh me head off at the irony of the situation that I currently find myself in. Laugh out loud. Imagine the laughs. Nothing is stopping me this time. Not some prescription. I SPITE my prescription with a 'meal' of Diet Coke. I mean, that is a good meal, right.
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Oh dear, I am deffinatly falling into to trap again. Oh well. Might as well FALL and lose weight at the same time. What has HAPPENED to me? Seriously, it cannot be a binge that has flipped me into the pit of depression. Not funny. But I am laughing.
first i would just like to say that this:
ReplyDeleteI know what happened. Your brain thought that if you ate more fishes you would be able to swim over to see me. I try to eat baguettes to use as paddles for the boat of fat I am creating to float better on the salt water. BUT we are going to have to wait. And then when we see each other we will be smiley happy (ier) people x x x
which you wrote me last night made me EXTREMELY happy and laughing out loud so that the kitties, who were staring at the open trash bag on the floor and trying to divine their contents, turned to me and looked at my like i was a hooligan. i was, for a few minutes while i laughed and smiled and was generally happier than happy. bien sûr! that's what the fishes were doing! i understand and am appeased now. next time i will eat swedish fish which are pure sugar (hence more throw-up-able) and obviously will set me on the right course for europe! oui?
it is FAST day!! yes!! you can DO this! just paint and paint and paint and paint and do not think and do not even try to work, you just need two days of painting and not eating! what about starting your antibiotics in two days when you can eat them with juice? so they will be absorbed and not wasted?
i am SO excited for your fast! paint paint paint! i will send you mon adresse! i also LOVE letters and will send some collagey-artsy letters back.
might i also recommend david bowie for your art time? not thinspo music but i LOVE him and would have 15,000 of his babies if he were still young and hot. he is perfect for lifting the mood. Heathen is a great album. also his older albums, of course, like Changes, Ziggy Stardust.
i just got my 333-French-verb reference book in the mail and i am SO excited! the little closed door of verb conjugations, which had been locked to me previously due to the way our textbook is set up is now OPEN! HOO-RAH! anise is off to the races! WOOOOOOO! i will be conjugating pluperfects in no time! the problem here is taking out the time to actually LEARN the language rather than be able to pour over books translating at a furious pace. but that is why i'm in class and we're still learning the est-ce que form of questions. i am like, ha HA! i already know ALL about inverting the verb, thanks to my STELLAR french tutor!
ok what am i going on about?
you are FULLY and COMPLETELY supported in your fast (did you determine emergency backup food, please?). i have no intention of eating today so i am fasting with you! yes! trans-continental fasting! we will own the globe! oh dear i am getting too excited for 6:15 in the morning. the sun is groaning and shaking her head at me. she has not even hefted her 1.981x10(to the 30th) kg up into the sky yet. so if you think you're fat, think about how fat the sun is. ok?
LOVE the fishes who are reconciled in their failed attempt to get to you last night because the scale was nice to them this morning :D i am still punishing them with NO FOOD today. suckers.